at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
