singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
