the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
