In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Who wears a wallet chain?!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
