I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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