And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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