I hate all girls vehemently.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
