It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
