After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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