I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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