Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
