We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
