do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
