The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
