I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
