Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Damn victory sex feels great
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
