I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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