STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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