but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
