Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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