It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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