Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
