i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
