He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
