And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
