Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
