yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
