Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just puked most of my soul out..
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
