i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
