i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
