Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
