We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
