...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just pee around me
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
