i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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