the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
