thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
