too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
