i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
