It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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