You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
