You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
