Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm getting married
To pizza
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
