I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
