Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
