so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
