we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
