i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
