When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just had sex on a roof
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
