how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
