So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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